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Loss of husband


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#1 triciadavis

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Posted 09 February 2017 - 09:01 am

I lost my husband Carl to SEPSIS ON 1st September 2016. He was admitted to A&E with a swollen knee, within 48 hours he was in ITU.  I was told that he was strong and young enough (51) to pull through.  2 weeks later he died - All his organs gave up, he had a cardiac arrest.  My world has been turned upside down, not only was he my husband, he was my best friend, I am lost without him.  My family have been there for me, its not the same as they have their own lives. I feel so alone and all I do is cry.

I still see a councellor every 4/6 weeks.   (this I find hard as I am a very introvert person).

I believer there are not enough medial people who know how to diognise Sepsis.

Tricia



#2 MarkDUK

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Posted 09 February 2017 - 09:30 am

Hi Tricia, thank you for your sharing your story, it's a very brave message. I cannot give any words to ease your pain, I can only hope that posting this message and sharing your tragic story aids your recovery.
I'm a survivor of sepsis and I see myself as being very lucky as nearly a 1/3 of folks getting sepsis in the UK will lose their battle. The messages of 'could it be sepsis?' and the 6 signs of sepsis are getting out there and since my sepsis in 2009 things gave improved in the UK but the loss of your husband is still 1 too many.
The therapy you are having must be very difficult for you but also very important. The UK Sepsis Trust have a very good support team and they can be contacted on 0800 389 6255. They have medics that you can chat with that have experience of treating sepsis in hospitals and are a fantastic source for any unanswered questions you may have.

Keep in touch if it helps. From past experience of this forum your brave message is already helping others facing bereavement through sepsis, in that they are not alone.

#3 Balley77

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Posted 09 February 2017 - 12:31 pm

Hi Tricia

 

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my mother under very similar circumstances - she had the flu for a few days, which got worse, and within 6 hours of being admitted to hospital she was on life support.

 

Such a sudden death in people who are generally healthy, and have their whole life ahead of them, doesn't make sense to me, and never will. It is good that you are getting some counselling (with hindsight, I wish I had done that).

 

UK Sepsis Trust do have some support groups, where can meet others going through a similar situation. It is so hard.... It is all consuming. I am glad you have family and friends around you, to keep an eye on you.

 

Where are you based? I am in South Wales, so if you're nearby and would like to meet for a coffee, that would be lovely.

 

I threw myself into fundraising for the UKST, and held a few events in the first year, raising around £12,000. This helped me cope a little better, as I had another focus. I went back to work far too quickly, and should really have taken more time off to grieve.

 

Sarah

x

 

 



#4 Gillianflutes

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Posted 09 February 2017 - 06:53 pm

I am so sorry for your loss. I feel so very fortunate to have pulled through. I know it was close for me too. Who knows what made the difference. I was already in the hospital when it all went pear shaped, which was possibly the main reason I am still here today.

I hope you continue to receive the support and counselling you need.

Much love to you. Xx

#5 triciadavis

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Posted 10 February 2017 - 08:54 am

Hi Tricia

 

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my mother under very similar circumstances - she had the flu for a few days, which got worse, and within 6 hours of being admitted to hospital she was on life support.

 

Such a sudden death in people who are generally healthy, and have their whole life ahead of them, doesn't make sense to me, and never will. It is good that you are getting some counselling (with hindsight, I wish I had done that).

 

UK Sepsis Trust do have some support groups, where can meet others going through a similar situation. It is so hard.... It is all consuming. I am glad you have family and friends around you, to keep an eye on you.

 

Where are you based? I am in South Wales, so if you're nearby and would like to meet for a coffee, that would be lovely.

 

I threw myself into fundraising for the UKST, and held a few events in the first year, raising around £12,000. This helped me cope a little better, as I had another focus. I went back to work far too quickly, and should really have taken more time off to grieve.

 

Sarah

x

HI Sarah

Thanks for your reply, i'm afraid I am nowhere near to go for a coffee, as I live in Southend-on-Sea, Essex.  Thanks for the offer.  Councelling is good but this I find very hard, as I find it hard to talk to people.  I can listen well, but find it hard to respond, Carl did a lot of talking for both of us.  At the moment day times are easier than nights, as I have people around me.  My neighbours are also supportive, but as I am so quiet I find it hard to knock on their doors.  I know people tell me that time will help, but I am not sure.  I have thought about getting a dog to keep me occupied, but this will not be for a few months yet, as I have garden panels to replace in the garden, and then to find the right dog (I am looking for a cokerpoo).

Must go now, hope I have not bored you.

 

Tricia



#6 triciadavis

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Posted 10 February 2017 - 08:55 am

I am so sorry for your loss. I feel so very fortunate to have pulled through. I know it was close for me too. Who knows what made the difference. I was already in the hospital when it all went pear shaped, which was possibly the main reason I am still here today.

I hope you continue to receive the support and counselling you need.

Much love to you. Xx

Hi

Thanks for you reply, much appreicated.  So glad that you were lucky to pull throught

Tricia



#7 Balley77

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Posted 14 February 2017 - 08:35 pm

Hi Tricia

Sorry for delay, hadn't realised you'd replied!

A dog sounds an excellent idea!

I tried a few things, to force myself out of the house. My husband tried to persuade me to take up a hobby. I found Saturday's the worst, as I'd often meet my mum for shopping. I had a go at a pottery class, which was nice but not very exciting. Eventually took up target pistol shooting, and the regular contact and friendships made there have been great. I love it and it is actually something I am good at.

Sorry you don't live any closer, but if you want to keep in touch by email, please do. My address is:
Sarah@valcot.com

Take care
Sarah
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#8 davegore

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Posted 28 March 2017 - 10:26 am

Tricia, sorry to read what you have written, your husband was only a year older than I am now, and it puts into perspective how lucky I feel now that I managed to pull through, and also what other people on this great and very useful site have said to me and others regarding what a big part luck sometimes plays regarding the treatment of this disease.

 

I hope you are feeling stronger with each day that passes and that you are able to remember the good times.

 

Dave






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