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Dear all I am new to this forum having discovered it after trying to research the "side effects" of sepsis. Back in September I had an infected gallbladder. I had it removed and instead of being just day case surgery I was admitted to hospital for four days and treated for sepsis. In the days leading up to it I felt very unwell with rigors, fever, mottled skin and honestly could have written out a will, I felt so bad. I've never felt so unwell and frightened in my life. I'm a nurse myself, but I continue to feel emotionally and physically drained by the whole experience. Psychologically I am still having "flashbacks" to the experience and worried about going back to working in a clinical environment and that I wont be able to take care of people properly, whilst I'm still trying to deal with all this. I'm terrified of becoming unwell again. Physically, I am managing to sleep but still wake up exhausted, have not yet returned to work and not doing all the usual things I used to love - swimming, being out all the time, shopping, even going to work in a job I used to love. I've withdrawn from friends and social gatherings because I tire so easily which is making me feel even more depressed. I've been to the GP for repeat blood tests and scans which have all come back normal. I guess my question is could all this be related to "post sepsis syndrome?". I'm only 36 and to be so incapacitated from normal life is sending me crazy, I used to be non-stop on the go. I wasn't in intensive care or anything, just treated on the ward and I just wonder if I am going crazy and if it's all in my head or if this is something that happens after sepsis? I'm so frustrated and have had a few panic attacks (which I'd never ever had before). I've been seeing a counsellor who has been amazing and trying things like meditation but I just need to know is there an end to it and does life ever get back to normal?

Hi Natalie Great advice and support from the forum members as always. I am sure you can see all the problems you are experiencing are very common during recovery. The poor understanding and awareness of sepsis recovery can make it feel a very lonely place to be at times. We have a helpline at the Sepsis Trust, it is manned by trained nurses who have a lot of experience caring for people with sepsis and a good knowledge and understanding of recovery. You can call and talk to them about your recovery and ask questions you may have. They can be contacted Monday - Friday 9 -4 pm by calling confidential freephone number 0808 800 0029. Sepsis Helpline

Thank you Ian, Kind of smiling here. Just got up from laying on the couch. My deadline to complete my project today, got pushed to Friday, so I thought I'd take a break knowing I had more time. Still filled with guilt (working on it, but admitting it so others who might feel the same way can get an example of how knowing about something, doesn't mean we can easily live it out (like taking it easy, when all we want to do is get back to what our lifestyles used to be like.) I DO still have such a hard time understanding and accepting the difference between "feeling like I'm being lazy", being tired, exhaustion and fatigue. Ironically, after talking with my Physical therapist, he is really supporting my understanding about feeling fatigued vs my not trying hard enough to go longer on the treadmill. Update: The great effects I felt from my B12 shot last week feel like they've worn out. Looking forward to Friday for another. I'll speak with my new GP to ask her about this. Thank you again! Richard

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-47279072

Hi! First of all I just want to give you a big hug! We are all on an unexpected journey, that we didn't ask to go on and yes, our lives are now very different. I had Sepsis in July 2015 and what you have written was basically me too, expect I am a bit older (53 then and 56 now). I was competing in triathlons, running half marathons and had always lived a 'healthy' life. The consultant told me that being so fit is how I managed to survive the Sepsis. I wrote a blog for a while called 'Believe!' (on wordpress) and that summarised some of my ups and downs, including some of the things I did to help myself 'get back'. Roll forward to December 2018 and am I back to what I was? No, is the answer, but I have gradually (VERY gradually!!) come to the belief that I was given a lesson (the biggest one of my life) and I now completely appreciate the life I have. I am living my 'new normal'. I have had to take early retirement from my post as head teacher of a rural primary school, because I do not have the physical or mental stamina for the job anymore. However, I am currently setting up a new business called 'AndBreathe...'. I cannot work full time, but this business is focussed on wellbeing, sharing the tools I have used, and still use, to get me through the ongoing challenges that I still face. I might not be running any more half marathons but I can run (not so fast or intensely, but I can run) and I can go out on my bike (not time trialling but a good cycle enjoying the countryside) and I am back loving a swim now and again. The main thing I am left with is the fatigue, which is mostly manageable now. The only thing I haven't completely figured out is that if I have a rush of adrenalin (excitement, stress, too much going on), my body crashes big time after the adrenalin wears off. I haven't figure out a way of easing that reaction. There is a group on FB called Sepsis Warriors. I have found them to be a very supportive group. I tried a couple of other groups but found then to be too depressing. This is absolutely NOT an advert, but I am now an EFT practitioner and would be happy to Tap with you, if you would like? Have a look at my website www.andbreathe123.com The most important piece of advice is to be kind to yourself. Don't beat yourself up. You WILL find that not everyone understands and you will definitely find who your true friends are. Maybe that isn't such a bad thing?! Take your time and focus on the small steps. I know how hard that it but cherish the small things. Best wishes Gillian x