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Hayley's mujm

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Hayley's mujm last won the day on 27 January 2015

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  • Sepsis Aware
    Affected by Sepsis
  1. Hello Liz. I am so sorry to hear about your husband and the added difficulties of being in a country where you don't speak the language. The horror of watching Sepsis develop and claim the life of someone you love are unimaginable. I lost my 27 year old daughter in 2011 to Sepsis and know what it is like to feel helpless as a disease spreads with such speed and you are powerless to stop it from happening. I can recommend the group in Manchester. I have met up with Julie many times and have had massive support from the Sepsis Trust. I had worked for the NHS my entire life as a nurse, midwife and health visitor. I was visiting women who had recently had babies and yet my daughter died from an infected C. Section. I do hope you have people around you who can support you and if you want to talk further i am more than happy to do so. Take care Anne
  2. Hayley's mujm


    Hello Paul. can I say how sorry I am that you have lost Alan to this awful disease. I lost my daughter in 2011 following the birth of her first baby. I have read so many accounts similar to yours, of previously health adults or children, with an apparently common illness being overwhelmed by sepsis. In our case it was almost 3 weeks of terrifying ICU care before Hayley died and as you say, the way it kills seems to have many guises. It is a truly awful disease that can kill any age or even the fittest people and yet there is so little public or even medical awareness of it. I hope you have good support around you in the weeks ahead as you face this awful grief. Take care Anne
  3. I though I would share my experience of taking posters, leaflets and information cards to professionals. I attended the North West volunteer meeting a few days ago and decided to take some publicity materials to share locally. This morning I was due for a check up at the dentist, so I took some leaflets and cards with me. I gave them to the receptionist and asked if they could discuss them at their next practice meeting. The man on reception was very interested and the people behind reception all agreed this was something they could do. I then visited my local, independent pharmacy. I took a poster for the Manchester support group meeting and the leaflets and cards. The person on the counter was very interested and said Sepsis had been mentioned in relation to her Father in Laws death, although she didn't know what it was. They were very happy to take the materials and promised to use them. I then visited the practice nurse for a screening appointment and once again gave her a poster for the support group, plus a selection of posters and leaflets. It was all much easier than I had anticipated and people seemed genuinely interested, so if you want to do a little local publicity perhaps have a go. Anne
  4. Hi Jo. I would be interested in more information on this as I got into cycling last summer and really enjoy the exercise. If I can use it to support the trust theat would be great. Thanks Anne
  5. Hayley's mujm


    My profile picture shows my beautiful daughter Hayley cuddling a teddy, with an inset of her son cuddling the same teddy. Hayley died aged 27 years, when Alfie was 3 weeks old. She had developed sepsis from an infected C. section wound and spent 2 weeks unconscious on a ventilator and ECMO (lung bypass) before dying from 'catastrophic brain damage' as a result of a clot travelling to her brain. I still dont fully understand what happened properly and how we went from celebrating a new baby to burying my daughter. Hayley was a bright, bubbly, vivacious young woman who loved life and enjoyed it to the fullest. She had been longing for a baby and after a miscarriage at 12 weeks she was left devastated. 6 months later she was thrilled to be pregnant again, but anxious all the time in case something happened to her baby again. We had the happiest time of our lives pram and baby shopping. We scoured the NW of England looking at prams, before buying the original one that had caught her eye. Every pay day I would buy more baby things and we would look through our pile of goodies to see what else we needed. She was thrilled when nana bought her a mama's and papa's bedroom set. She never saw Alfie in his cot and never put him in his pram. He was 10 days old the last time she saw him, he is now 3 1/2 years old. He is so like his mummy. A bubbly little character, full of fun and mischief. She would adore him. Instead we watch him growing up without the mummy who loved him so much. Just before she went into a coma she told me she was glad it was her that was ill and not Alfie. Every day is hard knowing she is dead. Even after 3 years I still feel as if I could wake up from this nightmare and have her back, have my real life back, the one I was meant to have before this happened. Hopefully this forum will grow and provide support to others facing the loss of a loved one to this horrible illness. Anne
  6. I have just started to use the forum and am finding my way around a little. Is there any option to private message someone or to email them through the forum. I am thinking that sometimes you may want to share something directly with an individual rather than publicly. Anne
  7. Hello Terry. I too lost a daughter from Sepsis, at the age of 27. She left a 3 week old baby. I am so sorry you have gone through this same horrific experience. To watch your child in ICU, on ventilators and in Hayley's case a lung bypass machine called ECMO is so devastating. To then watch them die is the worst thing imaginable for any parent. I still find it hard to believe it has really happened, that our lives could be so suddenly ripped apart. It is such a devastating illness that is terrifying in the speed in which it takes hold. We seemed to lurch from one crisis to another for 3 weeks, then suddenly she was dead and we weren't really sure what had happened. We waited a very long time for Hayley's inquest and there are still a lot of things I don't fully understand. I hope you get the answers you need and a clear explanation of exactly what happened. Take care Anne
  8. Hi Cath. I have just joined this forum and am so sorry to hear what happened to Pippa. I lost my daughter Hayley as a result of sepsis in 2011. She was 27 years old and had just given birth to her first baby. She developed sepsis from an infected C. Section and after 2 weeks on a ventilator and ECMO (Lung bypass) she died. Her baby was 3 weeks old. I know Hayley was an adult but she was still my little girl and the devastation of losing a child is something you can't even begin to imagine until it happens to you.You are still in very early days with your grief and I would say be very gentle on yourself and don't expect too much. If its a bad day, go with it and rest whenever you can. Grief is exhausting and I see you have a baby to care for as well. It is so hard to deal with all the daily things that need to be done whilst this horrendous pain is draining your energy and making it so difficult to focus on other things. I remember a distinct shift in people around me at 6 months. It seemed as if they felt I had grieved long enough and they just wanted me to 'move on'. When you lose a child there is nowhere to 'move on' to. You learn to adapt to the grief and function each day but its a loss that is so different to the expected losses you face in life. I hope you are getting the support you need from family and friends. Take care Anne
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