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2005rachel0

forgetful & knackered!

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Hi all, I just wondered if anyone else feels the same way as me and can tell me how long until they felt like themselves again...

 

I had severe sepsis in April this year, 13 days in ICU, 18 days in total in hospital. In the last 2 weeks I've gone back to work on a phased return basis (I'm a primary school teacher) but going back to work has left me shattered and its becoming more and more obvious how forgetful I've got and how much vocabulary I've lost while I've been off. I hadn't realised how many problems I was going to have with 'lost' words.

 

Up until going back to work I felt really good, my energy was coming back, most other post sepsis syndrome niggles had subsided or disappeared altogether. But now I'm totally fed up. All my planning I'm doing for my lessons is taking an awful long time, I've forgotten how to do so much stuff. 

 

I'm also fed up with how much I weigh, I've had a phase of 'I'm alive, let's enjoy life and eat everything' but now my jeans don't fit! I'm so shattered from starting work that I can't even contemplate running or swimming like I used to. 

 

I'm really fed up today.

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Hi Rachel, sorry to hear you’re a bit fed up today. After reading your post I think you’re doing well to be back at work. It does take time to get over what you have been through and it’s still early days. Be good to yourself, bit by bit you’ll notice improvements and whenever you can try and rest. Wishing you well, Dave.

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Hi Rachel, your post made me smile......not because I think your difficulties are in anyway funny, it's just that I'm also having "one of those days".

Firstly never forget you are doing the most exhausting job......I am now an Early Years Adviser but my background is teaching. I was initially ill in February this year but have had sepsis three times since, the last time being in June. I'm back at work and also get exhausted and "lose" words frequently! I have also been through a serious "I'm alive and so deserve to eat whatever I like" few months.....the result being I'm going back to Slimming World next week!

Just remember how far you've come in a short time and try to be kind to yourself. However you feel is normal......we are all in this together. I'm not sure if you are a Facebook user but there is a good international group which is a good confidence booster as people tend to reply quickly.

Good luck and take good care x

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Hi Rachel

 

Very good advice from other members of the forum.  This is really early days with respect to your recovery and you are doing incredibly  well  to be back at work.

 

Here is a link below to our support page,  if you select find a Facebook page  you will find details of survivor Facebook groups,  You can also call our helpline 08088000029 if you want to discuss your recovery or you have any question you want to ask us.

 

 

https://sepsistrust.org/support/

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Hello Rachel,

 

I agree with others that you are doing well to be back at work.  I also had about 2 weeks in ICU and started a phased return to work after 4 months, but expect it will be at least a year after that before I'm back to full time work.  Good and bad days are normal too, as recovery has its ups and downs.  It definitely doesn't feel like a linear progression.

 

It might take you some time to find out what makes you tired and what doesn't.  It certainly wasn't obvious to me, but mental activity is much more tiring than physical exercise now. I find any noisy or chaotic environment exhausting, but running, swimming, or any other form of exercise restores my energy. I lost a lot of weight and most of my muscle mass in hospital, so physio and exercise was essential for my recovery and I've continued to build on that.  You might find something like yoga or pilates is more suitable to start with.

 

Spending time with my young children is usually very tiring, so I'd imagine teaching would be even more so.  I can't multitask or concentrate when there is any sort of noise or other distraction. I think I've become better at focussing on one task though which definitely helps, but I don't know if that is possible in your job. Forgetfulness is also something I can relate to, especially when I'm tired.

 

Matt

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I'm 18 months on and still have brain fog and am exhausted. My "wife" is using it as a cause of divorce. The stress doesn't help the PSS...

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I am a primary school HT. It could be me writing your post! Nearly two and a half years on but today I emailed my line manager to ask for a meeting to see if we could find some creative solutions to support me. Although a lot of my symptoms are so much better, I am still losing words and have energy issues. I used to compete in triathlons and half marathons etc but right now I don't think I will ever get back to that. I am a teaching HT and am finding switching from being the head teacher to teaching the class really, really hard. You talked about planning taking forever now, I completely understand what you are saying. Doesn't help you but maybe knowing you aren't alone will help a bit.

 

I recently took on the weight issue. I joined Slimming World. I never ever thought I would do something like that! However, they are very sensible. It is more about changing eating habits and being accountable to someone kept me going. Once you reach your weight you can still weigh in for free! This sounds like an ad but it isn't! Being in control of something again also helped me keep going.

 

Speak to your HT. Also go back to your GP if you feel you need to. At one point I was short term on anti depressants. It was taking so much out of me fighting to get back to the 'old me' that I went into a slump. I now refer to my 'new normal'. The more you can share your frustrations the better. I have started a Staff Wellbeing group for our local cluster. I also found Mindfulness very helpful and have started to introduce that to school too.

 

Be good to yourself. Xx

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Hi Rachel, sorry, I forgot to check in. The Facebook group I mentioned is called simply sepsis. I also signed up to Sepsis UK on Facebook.

Like Gillian I'm a Slimming World member, joined again last week......quite depressing to get on the scales and see just how much weight be put on this year, but I'll deal with it!

Are you getting lots of support in work, occupational health consultation etc. I also had counselling through work which helped get a few things straight n my head!

Take care everyone x

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Hi again

Another FB group I have found useful is 'Sepsis Warriors'. I found 'Simply Sepsis' a bit depressing as everyone shared their stories with no positive end.... Sepsis Warriors seems to be more pro-active. They advertise UK Sepsis Support groups around the country. Not everywhere yet but a start. Xx

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Good point Gillian, it can get a bit negative on simply sepsis, although I have met someone who lives local to me and we plan to meet for real as we both have a positive attitude. I think I'll take a look at sepsis warriors!

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Hi all, i've now joined various facebook groups. 

I'm glad I'm not the only one feeling like this but today I feel worse than ever  :(

I left school last night without marking a single book and after my daughter's carol concert was in bed by 8pm. I'm coming down with a cold & feel awful. I don't intend to get off the settee all day. I don't work Thursdays or Fridays so I've got a bit of time to get over my cold before I'm due back on Monday. I've had one other cold since my sepsis and it knocked me out for over a week.

I knew going back to work was going to be hard but I hadn't anticipated just how hard and now I'm back everyone at work just expects me to be back to 'normal'. I used to be a good teacher, I'm barely hanging on anymore.

That's all doom and gloom isn't it!! Just think how many episodes of Elementary I can get through today whilst sat on this sofa!

Merry Christmas

Rachel  :P  

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Hi Rachel, don't worry that you still have bad days. It took me quite a while, and several counselling sessions to realise that I shouldn't be so hard on myself......it doesn't always work though. Carry on taking one day at a time and take care of yourself.......almost the Christmas holidays and hopefully you'll be able to get some rest!

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