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Amber2016

Any advice gratefully received!

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Dear all

 

I am new to this forum having discovered it after trying to research the "side effects" of sepsis. Back in September I had an infected gallbladder. I had it removed and instead of being just day case surgery I was admitted to hospital for four days and treated for sepsis. In the days leading up to it I felt very unwell with rigors, fever, mottled skin and honestly could have written out a will, I felt so bad. I've never felt so unwell and frightened in my life.  I'm a nurse myself, but I continue to feel emotionally and physically drained by the whole experience. Psychologically I am still having "flashbacks" to the experience and worried about going back to working in a clinical environment and that I wont be able to take care of people properly, whilst I'm still trying to deal with all this. I'm terrified of becoming unwell again. Physically, I am managing to sleep but still wake up exhausted, have not yet returned to work and not doing all the usual things I used to love - swimming, being out all the time, shopping, even going to work in a job I used to love. I've withdrawn from friends and social gatherings because I tire so easily which is making me feel even more depressed. 

 

I've been to the GP for repeat blood tests and scans which have all come back normal. I guess my question is could all this be related to "post sepsis syndrome?". I'm only 36 and to be so incapacitated from normal life is sending me crazy, I used to be non-stop on the go. I wasn't in intensive care or anything, just treated on the ward and I just wonder if I am going crazy and if it's all in my head or if this is something that happens after sepsis? I'm so frustrated and have had a few panic attacks (which I'd never ever had before). I've been seeing a counsellor who has been amazing and trying things like meditation but I just need to know is there an end to it and does life ever get back to normal?

 

 

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Hi Amber - thanks for sharing your experiences - horrendous as they are

 

I haven't suffered PSS myself but there are many posts on here from those in similar circumstances. Here's just one thread - see here for some more information

 

As a healthcare professional you will know that life changing events can have a massive impact on one's physical and mental capacity to "manage" the situation - and professional support and advice can help those in need. The Forum is a great place to understand that you are not alone and the Trust provide a free helpline to discuss on a 1 to 1 basis with one of their trained nurses. Give them a call on 0808 800 0029

 

Post back here any time

 

I'm sure you've had a massive impact on many peoples lives in your career and seen positive outcomes from critical situations. All is not lost - just get the support you need and take each day as it's given

 

Take care and sending you support and wishes

 

M

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Hi!

 

First of all I just want to give you a big hug! We are all on an unexpected journey, that we didn't ask to go on and yes, our lives are now very different. 

 

I had Sepsis in July 2015 and what you have written was basically me too, expect I am a bit older (53 then and 56 now).  I was competing in triathlons, running half marathons and had always lived a 'healthy' life.  The consultant told me that being so fit is how I managed to survive the Sepsis.  I wrote a blog for a while called 'Believe!' (on wordpress) and that summarised some of my ups and downs, including some of the things I did to help myself 'get back'. Roll forward to December 2018 and am I back to what I was? No, is the answer, but I have gradually (VERY gradually!!) come to the belief that I was given a lesson (the biggest one of my life) and I now completely appreciate the life I have. I am living my 'new normal'. I have had to take early retirement from my post as head teacher of a rural primary school, because I do not have the physical or mental stamina for the job anymore.  However, I am currently setting up a new business called 'AndBreathe...'. I cannot work full time, but this business is focussed on wellbeing, sharing the tools I have used, and still use, to get me through the ongoing challenges that I still face.  I might not be running any more half marathons but I can run (not so fast or intensely, but I can run) and I can go out on my bike (not time trialling but a good cycle enjoying the countryside) and I am back loving a swim now and again. 

 

The main thing I am left with is the fatigue, which is mostly manageable now.  The only thing I haven't completely figured out is that if I have a rush of adrenalin (excitement, stress, too much going on), my body crashes big time after the adrenalin wears off. I haven't figure out a way of easing that reaction. 

 

There is a group on FB called Sepsis Warriors.  I have found them to be a very supportive group.  I tried a couple of other groups but found then to be too depressing. 

 

This is absolutely NOT an advert, but I am now an EFT practitioner and would be happy to Tap with you, if you would like? Have a look at my website www.andbreathe123.com 

 

The most important piece of advice is to be kind to yourself.  Don't beat yourself up.  You WILL find that not everyone understands and you will definitely find who your true friends are.  Maybe that isn't such a bad thing?! Take your time and focus on the small steps. I know how hard that it but cherish the small things.

 

Best wishes

 

Gillian x

 

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Amber, after reading your post and experience I totally feel for you.  I am left with extreme fatigue and flashbacks too, I miss my old life and energy.  I'm also confused and frustrated and don't really know if and when I'll feel better again but it's good to know we're not alone in this. 

I don't really know what else to say to help you but I am sending you a virtual hug!

Natalie
 

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